Vocabulary Matters
Do you ever find yourself using words such as “Life is hard", “I can’t do this,” “I will try", “Maybe I will try it,” “People suck,” “Life sucks,” “I will never have the things I want,” and so on? If so, this blog is for you!
For quite a while as I have mentioned before I thought I had no chance at changing my circumstances and victim mentality. I often would let anxiety and overwhelming thoughts take over. It is easy to do when you’ve been through either big or little traumas. Do not feel shame or guilt about it, but be happy it is coming into your awareness so that you can separate your thoughts from your true self and DO something about it, aside from just sitting there observing.
The concept of using your words and thoughts to co-create your reality was something new to me. I really thought that things just were the way that they were and nothing could change that. Our life is the way it is, our economy sucks, things aren’t how they used to be, etc. Once I heard of the concept of transformation vocabulary, I began to think of things differently. At first, I thought it was far fetched and yeah of course “they say” your words and thoughts matter, but honestly how much? That seemed a bit extreme to think it could really make a difference to the point of mattering at all. Boy, am I glad to admit that I was wrong.
The first step in this process is recognizing the words you commonly use that are making your reality bad. Mine were mainly using terms like “Life is hard,” “I cannot keep up,” “I don’t have the time,” “I have to do the dishes or cleaning, “I have to go to work,” “I don’t have enough money to change my circumstances.” I also found I use the words “try” and “maybe” quite often. Once you identify your statements that are causing you issues, you can begin to restate them in a positive manner and realize you do not have to think that way. Those are your thoughts, that is your programming acting on autopilot for you, that is NOT who you are.
Ways you can help decide if the words are good or bad for you can range from you just simply not resonating with those phrases and they do not feel good to you. Or, you can muscle test yourself or get muscle tested to see if those phases resonate with you or not if you are unsure.
I began to change “Life is hard” to “Life is a challenge or an adventure.” I chose to believe “I always have time,” instead of “I have not time.” I rephrased many of my “have to” statements to “I get to” statements. “I get to do the dishes because my family has food, and I am capable of cooking good meals for us.” “I get to take care of my beautiful girls and am lucky to be a mother and that they are both happy and healthy.” Instead of “I don’t have enough money,” I chose to say “money flows in and out with ease, I always have enough.” “All my desires were put on my heart by God for a reason, if I am meant to do them then I will be supported.” These began to switch my outlook to gratitude instead of fear or scarcity.
Slowly but surely, I watched my mindset go from victim mentality and always shaming myself for not being able to make changes or guilting myself for not doing enough around the house, to living in a mindset of abundance and gratitude. This shift allowed me to resonate at a higher vibration, and begin surrendering to God and trusting in my purpose. Trusting that everything is happening for me and in divine timing.
Some of the key words I am currently still working to change are using “try” or “maybe.” I forgot how much I began to use those words in order to keep myself safe. I subconsciously began using them in my vocabulary in order to cover my ass in a way. I felt guilt and shame as a child if I did not fully accomplish something for example, and so I would say “I’ll try to do that” in order to make sure that if I disappointed, then I could go back and say well I didn’t say I’d do it I said I would try. Now a days, I hear my two year old using “I try mommy” or “maybe I do this, maybe daddy do this,” etc. We sometimes forget that little ears are listening.
The best thing you can do for your family and children is to work on your own growth and the rest will follow. If I work on changing these phrases for myself, my children will learn and do exactly as I do. Do you want your kids to learn to see the good or the bad in life? The choice is yours, make sure you are making the right one. I’m not saying you should beat yourself up about it, I am just bringing awareness to this so that you can make your own decision to make changes or not. Personally, I believe my girls are worth it and they have given me the desire to fully deal with my shadow beliefs and negative thoughts so that I can grow and set a great example for my family. I used to also think I could just beep bop along in life and not directly deal with things head on, but that is not the case. You can continue to avoid by chasing your next fix or staying stuck, but that is the only way you are guaranteed to never grow, by not changing anything.
I hope you enjoyed reading this, and please reach out to me with any stories of your own on this topic. I would also love to hear if this opened your eyes or benefited you in some way.
Love you all,
Xo Amber
