A working mother of two
Now that I had returned to work, which to me was the worst-case scenario, my thoughts began to spiral each day. I had failed again; I couldn't manage to be able to parent the way I wanted to and be more present in the lives of my small children. I now have to pay someone else AGAIN to take care of what my job is supposed to be. Every day I felt upset and confused, trying to figure out why this was so hard to achieve. Financially, I just had a hard time justifying leaving my job and putting all of the financial burden on my husband. It just wasn't feasible. Why in this day and age was our society not more focused on making sure the children are well taken care of. Why is the new norm for mothers being separated from their babies so soon and most households having to have 2-3 incomes to survive. I wanted to make a change so badly for my own children, but also for all the other moms and children currently and in the future. I wanted us to have more control over our lives. Why should we all work so hard in order to not be able to even do the things that matter most in life? Where did the American dream go?
The best thing that helped me during this time was to remember a couple things. First of all, everything that is happening now is all part of God's plan, there is no mistake. This lesson was meant to be learned during this time, and I must learn to be happy through this time in order to move forward instead of dwelling on the life I wanted. Secondly, the only way to change my current scenario besides praying, was to continue to make small, aligned actions towards the future I wanted. My anxiety always tried to tell me that this was a nearly impossible task because of work, pumping, the children, and the house all taking up damn near 100% of my time. How could I fit this in as well? But I realized that I do not have to believe that. I can choose to believe that I do have enough time, and that I can make this change happen.
From here, I began to continue implementing small aligned actions into my day to day life. I had no other choice but to heal myself for my children, be able to show up for them the way they deserved, and that all started with me. One small habit after another got added to my day. I was making myself a priority and changing the way I cared for myself. Previously, I was the very last to be taken care of, but now I realized that I must put the energy into my own self care in order to show up as my best self and to show the girls a good example of someone who had high self worth. Currently, in my morning routine I do tapping in affirmations, tongue scrapping, looking at my vision board, getting myself ready including doing my hair, taking all my vitamins/supplements, and making myself a mushroom matcha latte and lemon water to take to work with me. Doing this has really helped create a good vibe for the mornings and make sure I am getting in my self care for the day.
On the way to work I listen to 432 or 528 frequency and list things I am grateful for, as well as say a prayer for our family with the girls. Throughout the day at work, I listen to self development podcasts or information that keeps me thinking forward. I wear a bracelet to help protect my energy from my toxic work environment, and before bed I make time to pray/meditate.
All of these new small aligned actions have helped me to surrender more often, and also create new neural pathways in my brain to continue feeling into gratitude for the life I have now, and leveling up my self-worth. I have slowly but surely witnessed my life changing, and I couldn’t be more grateful. I’m sure you have heard of the compounding effect or the law of attraction. I had finally been witnessing both truly working in my life and it was amazing. I thank God for these realizations.
