The beginning of my healing
Over the time period I was working with my coach, I really began to dive deep into all the self-development podcasts and learning who I was. I had a tough time figuring out how I was going to supplement my income by the time I had my second baby in order to stay home. I knew at this point that the job I had around my area was a good one, and if I was going to leave, I needed to have a back-up plan, but I didn't want it to be one that I didn't enjoy. I had always wanted to be a cosmetologist and was also into natural healing. I was trying to decide quickly what I wanted to do for a living. I didn't want to keep committing to things and getting more training if it wasn't my true-life purpose. I wanted my work to really align with who I was as a person and make the time I did spend working away from my kids something that I was passionate about. Eventually I decided that I was drawn more towards the coaching/healing/natural medicine space than I was towards cosmetology. I began to research all the different modalities related to natural healing and helping others. I felt that with my gifts I was given including writing, being a coach to others (unofficially), and the passion for natural medicine that this was the right path for me. I was getting frustrated with not being able to choose. My coach encouraged me to take small aligned actions, as I also learned in my podcasts and I finally found something that truly caught my attention.
I was looking online and found a Psychological Kinesiology program, that was dealing with muscle testing and reprogramming the subconscious mind to help people heal. It was sort of expensive, but since I had just sold my house recently, I was able to swing the expense. I still was unsure if it was the right fit for me, but then I set up a video call with the creator of the program and began to chat with him. I had two different calls with him in which he explained to me what the program was, muscle tested me to see if it was a good fit, and also I felt such a good vibe from him as someone who genuinely cared about people and wanted to help others. I felt very similar vibes that I felt from my coach from him, and I knew this was a good place to start. I knew it would be a little challenging trying to manage working, being pregnant, and my current baby, along with doing this program but I was determined to start heading in the right direction to change my life and the lives of my children.
I began the program in my second trimester, and finished the courses right before I gave birth. Honestly, during this time I had really retracted from pretty much all of my friends and family for the most part in order to keep on track with everything. I had already started to do this within the past couple years, I think I needed the mental space to process what I was going through.
So, as I am entering the final month before birth, I just keep seeing the numbers 11:11, 1:11, and all the 1's to the point where I almost couldn't ignore it any longer. I had reached a point that after all this self-work I had put in, and the awakening I was having, that I think my consciousness was finally beginning to open up to being able to receive messages from God. It felt very good and natural, I knew the actions I was taking were finally beginning to line up with what I was meant to be doing. "Coincidentally" enough, I ended up being 1 week overdue with my baby, and was made to schedule her induction on one of two different days. It was either 1/11, or 1/12 and so because of the current guidance I was receiving I chose 1/11. The induction started at 6:00am and continued until I was ready to have the baby and it was 20 minutes until midnight. The doctor asked me if I cared which day she came on today or tomorrow, and I said today if possible. She arrived 10 minutes before midnight that day on 1-11-23. Talk about wild!
So now, I am the mother of two beautiful girls, entering my second maternity leave and still bound and determined that I won't have to return to work after this child. This maternity leave was a bit challenging for a few reasons. To list a few, my husband was still on midnights, I had 2 under 2, one of our dogs ended up passing away, and we got a new puppy because of it. I had all the raging hormones and felt completely overwhelmed. I had been feeling much gratitude, but once our dog passed away it was very difficult for both Kevin and I. On top of this, I was putting so much pressure on myself about becoming a stay-at-home mom. I was listening to all the podcasts and doing all the things, however I still wasn't making much progress as all my attention was focused on trying to keep everyone well, my milk supply, and all the things that come with raising small children.
I kept on working on my course work when I could, but eventually I decided to let myself give up on it for now knowing that being a mother was more important during this time. Between this and the fact that I had practically zero time to practice kinesiology to get comfortable enough to be able to begin my practice, I ended up returning to work again because I felt like I had no other choice.
