6 things you must understand to change the direction of your life
Hello all! Have you been feeling stuck and are having a hard time understanding why your life just seems to be a repeating cycle and not in the way you want?
Much of the time, we want to make changes and we want our life to be easy and flowy, but it just never seems to go our way.
I was stuck in a similar situation for many years, until I learned why I was stuck and how I could do something about it.
I hope these tips are helpful in recognizing why you may not be experiencing the life of your dreams, and what steps you can take to do something about it.
Move different if you want different
Nothing will change in your life if you keep doing the same things over and over. Do you feel like you keep reliving the same day, same month, or same year? Now is your chance to do something about it. Many people have underlying beliefs that keep them from moving forward in life or making any changes. Some of those beliefs are based on fear or worry about what could happen if they do something different. Or they’re stuck in freeze mode due to past experiences of things going wrong. Regardless of what the reason may be, you need to understand that if you move different, different things will happen. Without taking that first step, you can expect things to stay the same.
Depending on what your goal is, I would recommend making your new ways of living match whatever goal you are desiring to achieve. For example, if your goal is to get out of an unaligned relationship, I wouldn’t recommend starting by looking for new jobs.
Make small aligned actions & follow through with them
When I started making changes they were very small at first, and all of the small changes began to come together like the compound effect. If you’re looking to change your health, you could start with taking a multivitamin. Or, just adding in one glass of water a day. Or just eating one fruit and one vegetable a day. If you’re looking to change your career, you could begin to be open to creative possibilities of options for yourself. Then as time goes on, you can add in more things as you’re able to. Overall though, I believe any big changes that you want in the long run will most likely need you to make changes to your mindset to accomplish them if you’re stuck.
In order to do this, you could go see a professional who specializes in this type of work. You could also just begin listening to one helpful podcast per day. You could begin journalling on the life you desire one time per day. You could pick two affirmations and say them every morning. You could begin starting the day or ending the day with a prayer. Whatever it is that helps you to change your mindset. But remember, it all starts with baby steps. Most people do not become successful and change their entire lives overnight. It usually starts with one little baby step at a time.
Let your purpose or your “why” drive you
What is the reason why you want to create change? Do you want to be with your kids more? Do you hate your job? Is your partner not a good match for you? Do you want to change your physical well-being or something else? Let your “why” be the driver for you. One exercise I like to do is weigh my options. I could allow myself to stay stuck in the current situation, but at what cost? If you can’t imagine thinking that you will have to live in this situation the rest of your life, use that to catapult you into your next level self. Use your life purpose if you know what that is, or if you don’t know, most people do know their “why” of what is most important to them.
Every time you think it’s not possible to make the change you so desperately want, think back to your reason why. If it is enough of a reason, you will eventually make a change!
Allow yourself to be a beginner
Many times when we make a change, one stopping point can be the unknown, or even imposter syndrome. We may think “Who am I to do such a thing?” Another thing is stepping outside the box can feel uncomfortable. Maybe your goal or what you want isn’t something that most people around you think would be a safe thing to do. Some people may not believe it is possible for you, so it can help reinforce your fearful thoughts of it not working out.
You can choose to give into the fear and stay safe if you desire. But, sometimes the only way to go forward is to realize that everyone has to be a beginner at some point. Every famous or successful person you know didn’t become that way just by being born. Any highly intelligent or popular person doing what you want to do had to start from ground zero at one point. Allowing yourself to be a beginner and try something new is one of the first steps to making any real progress on your goals.
If you’re scared, do the thing anyway!
DO IT ANYWAY! This is my next piece of advice, even if you’re fearful and it feels uncomfortable, sometimes you just have to push past that feeling and take the leap anyway. This is a great tactic for getting out of your comfort zone and going in the direction of your goals. In life, there won’t always be a safe path that we can foresee the outcome for years in advance of exactly how it will play out. Life is a mystery and is full of lessons and unexpected things. I know many people who played it safe their whole life and never got to the place they truly wanted to be. Don’t be like those people (unless you want to of course).
You always hear people say there is never a good time to have kids, for example. This is true with everything in life. There is much that is unknown, however we do have the ability to make changes, even if it scares the shit out of us! I can honestly say some of the moves I made in the past couple years I was not completely ready for and didn’t know how I would do it, but I did it anyway! One thing that helps in these situations is to have faith, and trust that if you’re being true to yourself and following your path that you will be guided and supported no matter what.
Get help & support when you need it
The final tip that I have in this blog post is to seek outside help if you just can’t make any changes and are stuck in a freeze mode. Who you put yourself around makes a HUGE difference in your life. Have you ever heard the expression “You are who you surround yourself with?” I believe this to be true. If your friends aren’t living the life you want, I’m not saying you need to drop all your friends by any means, but try hanging out around some people that have accomplished similar things to what you are wanting to. This instills a belief in you that others can and have done these things, and they are completely possible.
Another thing that helped me was to hire help! I used to be under the impression that it wasn’t worth it to spend money on different things because that meant I was going the opposite direction (losing money). I had to work on many beliefs from this aspect. As a child, I always had the belief that I didn’t need to spend money on a naturopath because I could muscle test myself or just take vitamins. I didn’t need a life coach, because shouldn’t I just be able to motivate myself and help myself with the lessons.. why waste money on that. Why waste money on a workout class when I should be smart enough to just do work outs at home and also be motivated enough to do them. If you can’t see the pattern, one of my big limiting beliefs was around money for sure.
As I found out, sometimes it’s better to do things together and let others help you with what they’re offering because it really does help. If you can be self motivated or don’t need the help then that’s okay too. For myself, this was really a key realization that I could spend the money on these things and that they are extremely helpful. In many situations they can get you from step A to E much faster than if you were to try doing it alone. So remember, you are worth the investment and try holding a belief that any money you spend comes back to you 10 fold, or something similar if you’re also like me and held this belief around money.
Closing
So basically what I am saying is hire a naturopath, hire a life coach, go get a massage, go to the chiropractor, go to a health professional, and get your mind, body and spirit in a good place; know that you are worth it! Secondly, especially if you really cannot afford to do that, just MAKE THE CHANGE. Do any small seemingly insignificant changes that feel aligned with where you want to go to get yourself open to seeing that more is out there for you and you can change your life! Think about your “why” and think about what your life would be like if you continued to do nothing. I promise, you are worth it and you CAN do it! Prove it to yourself :)
I hope this blog was helpful to those who are stuck and feel helpless, victimized by the world, or confused. Life can be a wonderful place if you choose to make it that way.
Xo Amber
